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Monday, October 29, 2007

Cancer Removes all Masks

The Masks we Wear

Every one has flaws and do not want them discovered. Worse yet we would hate to be real with someone and then be rejected. This fear, to be ourselves is what allows the creation of our very own mask. This mask is built just for us…with one objective, to protect us from pain and heartache. Seems like a bargain, we can be popular and protect our feelings...right? For awhile...then you begin to forget what is real and what is pretend.

In Walks Cancer

With each treatment, chemotherapy has an opportunity to zap one's strength. It eventualy becomes difficult to do the little things in life. Durring this stage it is easy to be discouraged. Now, just imagine that you wake up one morning...look into the mirror and realize that you are looking at a stranger. What is real? What is pretend? Talk about an identity crisis. All strength is gone and the only choice available is to remove the mask and take stock of who we are. This is exactly what happened to me…my worst fear.

Living Life with Confidence...and without a Mask

Cancer survivors tend to take stock of what is around us. We appreciate the things that we have previously taken for granted. Such as a walks in the park, the warmth of the sun, a cool midnight breeze, conversations with loved ones, and a good joke. This aspect of cancer allowed me the opportunity to re-connect. To re-learn about who I am and what I am about. I wish I did not have to go through cancer to regain this part of my life but I am glad that I did. Cancer taught me to take advantage of every opportunity even if you have to turn a negative into a positive.

Just imagine what doors are open to you when you overcome cancer. Keep fighting the good fight.



Sunday, October 28, 2007

Cancer...Difficult for Family and Friends

Cancer is Cancerous, to all who care about you

Life happens if we like it or not. This is especially true when life throws an obstacle our way; an obstacle called cancer. This could be happening to you or a loved one. In either case it is not a pleasant experience.

Believe me when I say, "cancer is harder on loved ones". Because it is...think about it. The burden of fighting the disease falls upon the patient, and the loved one feels helpless. Only the patient receives treatment...and only the patient can fight. So what can you, a love one do to help? How can you help them feel better? The answer is nothing. Why? Because no matter what a loved one does, it never feels like enough. This is a natural emotion...feeling small compared to a huge life threatening disease like cancer.

With this being said, you need to realize that small acts of kindness go a long way in the eyes of a cancer patient. Just because you feel helpless does not mean that you are. In fact you have the capability to save their life. Just being by their side, talking, visiting, preparing meals, and praying for them turns a potential bad day to a better one. That, my friend, is power. Power only you, a loved one, has. Sure you will still battle your inner emotions...the feeling like you are not doing enough, but just remember you hold the keys that help fuel the, "I-Can-cer-Vive" attitude. In my opinion, that is the difference between life and death. Below is a list of activities that will make a difference in your loved ones life.

  • Provide an escape. Cancer patients have many battles, such as Chemo, life altering surgeries, and the emotional roller coaster that goes along with cancer. Provide an escape away from all of this. It does not have to cost an arm and a leg. An escape could be a beautiful picnic at the park or going to see a movie. Just remember to talk to the Doctor before you take them anywhere...their bodies have a harder time fighting infections, and an outing could be dangerous. However, if you focus on their interests you can provide them an escape from reality for several minutes and hopefully a couple of hours.
  • Provide cooking, cleaning, babysitting assistance... etc. In essence help them with their everyday chores, mostly the ones they dislike and especially the ones that are physically challenging.
  • Listen! Be a sound board. Do not feel that you have to say anything special...sometimes words are not needed, just ears. Remind them that you are here for them and that will never change.
  • Pray...form payer groups. Prayer is a team sport, so invite everyone!
Remember your job is to make their life easier. Whatever that entails is fair game. And do not ever underestimate your power to heal.